I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” -Lamentations 3:24
It always seems to come back to You and me, doesn’t it? Round and round, somehow in my chasing, in my spinning, in my attempts to analyze the world, at the very end of the strain is You. Patiently smiling at my eyes that roam everywhere but You, and I wonder why I cannot see the life in front of me. How I cannot spill my anxiety and sit with You in the quiet, when every other soul in this place leaves me but there You are, ever constant. Ever coaxing. Ever beckoning me to share a seat with You and look in Your eyes to get my fill of rest. To know how it feels to be seared with the sign of love, wrapped in a wave of relief that knows no shame.
I feel like I can never get it right, my heart. How fickle it is, how swiftly it falls for whatever flashes in front of me. How are You so endlessly patient? Especially when I patronize You with my blatant search for fullness in all the wrong places?I feel like I can never get it right, my heart. @SRennAwake Click To Tweet
You are enough. You are always enough. My head repeats this over and over but many times I cannot slip it from my mind to my heart. For where the heart reverberates there echoes true understanding and trust. Those quivering places of my hopes and hurts hang tentatively, out of reach for anyone but You and Your wingspan. You can slip into those air-tight corners and fill them with life from Your breath. You always know the right things to say, the perfect ways to come after me and surprise me yet again with how well You know me.
I fidget with my faith like I’ve never known Your touch, seen the work of Your hands or heard the timbre of Your voice. So slow is my memory to mark where You have brought me. I dip my cup into what leaves me empty. I am a slave to my desires that never quench my thirst.
How I can’t just sit with You and be me is beyond comprehension. I’m always moving, always gliding like a current caught downward.
Bat the clutter out of my brain, distractions depleted, so I am open and willing before You. I want to recognize Your voice again. May I trust You completely, again and again and again. With everything. A being beyond this natural world, cut into the super. Lead me in that great humility You emanate. Let’s get better acquainted in those silent nights that nurture souls so well.A being beyond this natural world, cut into the super. @SRennAwake Click To Tweet
Be my portion aplenty, entirely what sates my thirst, splits my soul clean for You. I will drink from the overflow and find You’ve saved the best taste of goodness for when I am most needy.
So move with me as You always long to. I hold out my hand to trek through this station of life with eyes open and heart receptive to whatever it is You really want to show me. I want to find my way with You. Make a mystery come alive in the universe of my soul.