Though You say You’re with me always, I feel left high and dry. You brought me so close to sweetness and then snatched it away and slammed the door on my heart. I can’t tell You how much that stings. And so I nurse my wounds, already sensing my default to close off from the world.
I am still so terribly alone. And there is nothing You seem fit to do to soothe the cut, the ache. I don’t know how to pray. Don’t know what to even pray for. I have absolutely nothing for You, and what a desolate wasteland that is.
How can I do it—live this life, and live it well?
I keep trusting in what I cannot see and it is so hard. Grasping at the air. Giving in to mystery.
You are God. I am not. But I fight for my grip on life—my heart—afraid to relinquish control.
Like I’ve ever been in control in the first place.
But believe and fight I must, for it’s a fight forever to stay strong in faith.
Nothing good is quick, is it? It takes time, patience, refinement. Sometimes, it’s about the process, the journey. In fact, the more I think about it, that’s pretty much the majority of Your intention. It’s not so much about the destination, but the drive—the scenic views, pull overs on the side of the road, pit stops, wrong turns, flat tires, downpours, rainbows and turns that lead to breathtaking places. The people met along the way, the memories chiseled in my heart, and You beside me.
Something in me refuses to be still. And yet that’s exactly where You call me. To sit. Be still. And know. Know You are faithful to come through for my heart, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even when I’m tempted to take things into my own hands. Just be still and walk by faith. Learn the art of contentment and trust.
He who brings me to this place in time is faithful. And I can fall full weight on what is to come because of the promise for good in all ways, because that is His character.He who brings me to this place in time is faithful. @SRennAwake Click To Tweet
Hold to You who promise. Invite You into my alone places and let You have control of all my outcomes. Hold tight to hope offered in Your every breath, and believe that is enough for today, for always.
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.